Stoic Wisdom

I was doing some reading recently and was reminded of the Four Pillars of Stoicism: Wisdom, Justice, Fortitude, & Self-Discipline.  I was also at a conference last week that had several elements that reminded me of these four pillars, so I thought I would take the next 4 weeks and share some thoughts on each one of them.

Stoic Wisdom - The Art of Seeing Clearly

During the conference, one of the realities we talked about was how much energy we can spend on assumptions that may or may not actually be true.  We can take on stress not from what's actually happening, but from the stories we tell ourselves about what we think it happening.

This is something the ancient Stoics understood deeply and is rooted in the first pillar of their philosophy, Wisdom—specifically, the wisdom to see things as they actually are, not as our emotions or assumptions tell us they are.

The Stoics defined Wisdom as the ability to navigate complex situations with clarity and understanding. It's about learning to separate facts from our interpretations of those facts. When we realize our stress is coming from our stories rather than our circumstances, we are practicing this ancient wisdom.

I think about this in my own life when I catch myself rehearsing difficult conversations in my head (which I do way too often!). I'll imagine all the ways someone might respond, getting myself worked up about scenarios that haven't even happened yet. The Stoic practice of Wisdom invites me to pause and ask: "What do I actually know right now? What are the facts, and what are the stories I'm adding?"

For example, if a colleague doesn't respond to my email for a few days, the simple fact is: they haven't responded yet. But the stories I might tell myself could range from "they're ignoring me" to "they must be overwhelmed" to "they didn't think my message was important." Wisdom helps me recognize that I don't actually know why they haven't responded—and that's okay.

Wisdom is learning to work with what we know, not what we assume.

What stories are you telling yourself about your current circumstances that might not actually be true? Where in your life could you benefit from seeing a situation more clearly, separating the facts from your interpretations? Is there a relationship or work situation where practicing this kind of Wisdom might bring you more peace and better decision-making?

Here's to practicing Wisdom and seeing more clearly this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Checkin!

I was recently doing a training with a group of leaders and we were chatting about the power of the Checkin - taking time to Check In with key individuals and teams within your realm of influence. I think this is one of the greatest tools a leader can use to develop their relational authority.  I've developed one simple question, asked two different ways as a great starting point.

How are you DOING?

This Checkin question focuses on the tasks and responsibilities of an individual or team. It's an inquiry into what they are doing and how that is going? Often it can be a great guage about places the leader may be able to provide help or support in getting tasks done or keeping projects on schedule.  

How are YOU doing?

This Checkin question focuses on the actual individual or team members. It's an inquiry into who they are and how they are navigating through the completion of tasks and objectives. Its intent is to see and hear the person or team, not just to focus on the tasks.  This question is a great opportunity to see how you can provide support to the individuals or the team as a whole. 

As you think about the individuals and teams in your realm of influence, how could you use this one question in these two ways in a Checkin? What impact might it make on how they are navigating their lives and responsibilities? If you were to prioritize this Checkin, who floats to the top of the list as the place where it would make the most impact right now? How could you carve out some time for this simple Checkin with them?

Here's to using the simple Checkin this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Whole

If you've been reading this weekly message for a while, you know that often the inspiration for these messages come out of the everyday leadership and life experiences I encounter.  This week is another example of that.

Within the past week I have had numerous conversations in which people in my realms of influence have opened up and shared something deeply personal they were experiencing. I realize that part of the nature of my work is to open up space for those conversations to happen, but nevertheless, I don't take it for granted!  In the process, I have been reminded of how Whole we all are as people. We try and keep personal things out of work and work things out of home and family life, but the truth is, we are Whole people and it's impossible to completely separate them. 

From a leadership (and just a compassionate human) perspective, it means there may be small moments when someone shares something with me and I can take a few extra moments and extend some compassion and care, which might make a significant difference in that individual's life. 

For example, I recently had a team member share something personal and painful with me. I took a few extra minutes and did my best to empathize with their pain. We also took a moment to talk about how this might impact their work, which was also important and appropriate. It wasn't more than a 5 minute conversation, and I mainly just tried to express my care toward them. Later in the day, they sent me a text and expressed how grateful they were for the compassion and understanding I showed. I was moved by how much of an impact that simple few moments meant to them.

As a leader (and simply as a human on this planet!), our ability to remember we are all Whole people and that Wholeness will have an impact on our lives is critical to leading (and living) well. When we can take the time to be mindful and perhaps take a few extra minutes of care and compassion in some critical moments, we can make a significant impact on the people we lead and influence.  

Are there individuals in your realm of influence who you know may be experiencing something in another area of their Whole life? What kind of an impact would it make if you took a few minutes to just check in with them and see how they are doing? How might you pay attention to the words and actions of those around you in a way that was mindful of their Wholeness? Is there something happening in the Wholeness of your own life and how might being mindful of its impact on you and those around you make you a better leader today?

Here's to remembering we are all Whole this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.