The Power of Connection

I have been thinking a lot recently about the power of connection. Actually, I was watching a show over the weekend that highlighted the dysfunction of disconnection (people only caring about themselves or their own agenda or perspective), and it caused me to think about how powerful it can be when we make an effort to actually make a connection with someone else. I believe there are some people we can have a more natural connection with - people who we seem to just "click" with and we have a lot in common together. Those are the kind of relationships I think we need to cherish and be grateful for in our lives. But what I am talking about is the power that can emerge when we act with intention to create a connection with someone we might not naturally click with. It's so easy to just see the differences that exist between us, and let's face it, we live in a world right now that seems to thrive on highlighting those differences (can someone say politics?)! If we give into that temptation to highlight our separateness, we only re-create a world of greater isolation and we'll fall back into the dysfunction of disconnection. But if we are willing to slow down and deliberately look for the spaces of commonality, we can unleash the positive power of connection. For example, one of the connecting practices I attempt to use is calling a person by their name if I have it. If I am at a restaurant or a store and a person has a name tag, I use their name. Or if I call to a customer service line or a business and the person answers the phone and says their name, I will try and repeat it and write it down so I can use it during the call. I know this may sound kind of cheesy (my kids certainly thought it was while they were growing up!), but it's my attempt to remind myself that they are a person just like me, with a name and a story, rather than just a job or service I am being offered. The truth is, when we can slow down and take some time to look for ways we can connect with others (like we both have a name!), we discover we are actually much more similar than we are different. The power of the connection can help us overcome the dysfunction of disconnection! What are some ways you like to look for connection with others in your life? How could you shift your attention away from differences, and instead look for similarities to build a connection? Who might you encounter this week that just might need your power of connection in their life? Here's to using the power of connection! Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and this blog is designed to provide ideas and thought-starters to support you on your journey of Centering growth! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation if you'd like to connect.

Too Focused?!

I recently came across a Latin phrase that I found very helpful. Hominem unis libri timeo, which is a warning that means "Beware the person of a single book." While the origin of this phrase is unclear, what it's basically saying is that it's possible to be too focused on singular issue, perspective or source, which can ultimately limit our view and keep us closed to other ideas and perspectives. Tunnel Vision!

For example, if I only ever listen to the same news source for all of my information, my perspective on the events of the world will quickly become jaded to that focus. Or if I only talk to the same person for advice whenever I am facing a difficult decision, my options for choices will be limited to what the two of us can come up with together - about everything! "Beware the person of a single book."

What this warning is encouraging us to do instead, is to look for multiple views and perspectives to help give us a broader understanding of life. In other words, it's possible to actually be too focused at times.

Now don't get me wrong, focus is a good thing! There are times when it's important to shut out distractions and get a laser focus on a project or the completion of a task. But there is also a place for seeking input from various sources and being curious about other perspectives. This is especially true when we are trying to make significant decisions, figure out new directions, or solve large problems. In those circumstances, limiting our sources of input only hinders our ability to see what other options may be available to us. When we make sure we aren't just reading from a single book, we can find insights and wisdom we would never have considered otherwise.

What decisions are you facing right now that you may be in danger of "reading from a single book"? Who could you reach out to (with curiosity and openness!) in order to gain a different perspective on your problem? What might need to shift inside of you or your team in order to be more open to other ideas and viewpoints?

Hominem unis libri timeo - Beware the person of a single book. Here's to reading from more than one book this week!

Be Well,

Stephen Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

What are you learning?

In 2006, psychologist, Carol Dweck, wrote a book titled Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In that work, she developed two phrases that I have written about before - Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset. In at least 4 different conversations this past week these ideas came up again, so I thought it might be good to revisit them.

In their most basic form, a person with a growth mindset believes they haven't learned everything yet and there is still opportunity and room to grow and expand their knowledge and skills. In contrast, a person with a fixed mindset believes they have reached their capacity for growth, and that there really isn't any more room to grow and expand in their knowledge or skills. It can look something like this:       Fixed Mindset           Growth Mindset - I want to avoid mistakes    - Mistakes help me learn - I know best               - Feedback is valuable - I'll never be that smart      - I improve with practice - This is good enough       - Is this my best work? - I give up                  - I won't give up Of course, most of us don't function from an absolute place where we are either all growth mindset or all fixed mindset, but operate from some part of both. However, there are some important questions we can ask to help us honestly assess ourselves. Do I usually shut down when I'm faced with a challenge, or do I want to lean into it and see if I can figure it out? At this point in my life have I already learned almost everything I am going to learn, or is there still opportunity for me to continue to learn and grow in my knowledge? When feedback or criticism comes my way, do I automatically dismiss it and/or take it personally, or do I look for what might be true in it so I can continue to learn and become a more whole person from it? Are there certain areas where I know I tend to have more of a fixed mindset, and what could I do to begin to shift that perspective? These questions lead us to the final thought of the day, which I think is good news! We don't have to be stuck with a fixed mindset but can begin making shifts within ourselves to gradually embrace more of a growth mindset - no matter where we may be on our journey of life! I wonder what we might learn this week?! Be Well, Stephen Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center. We specialize in executive coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you! Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.