Help!

I've been working on a project in my backyard over the weekend. Did you know there's a difference between how an idea looks in your mind when it's finished, and the various steps that are required to actually get there?!  At some point I realized there wasn't any way I could complete the project without some extra help. That conclusion also reminded me that I have a hard time asking for help, mainly because I don't want to inconvenience others. Fortunately, I have a partner who reminded me that if the tables were ever turned and other people were asking me for help, I would be very willing to lend a hand if I was able. So, a request went out, some extra hands showed up, and the vision in my head is starting to take shape.

I think this pattern for asking for help is true for many of us. We are very willing to lend a hand to others if they need it, but we gravitate toward self-sufficiency when it comes to our own lives.  Our motivations may be different for why we do that, but asking for help can feel like a real challenge. However, none of us can survive, let alone thrive in our lives without the help of others around us. Whether it's for a physical task or an emotional situation, needing help isn't a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of maturity and strength when we can be vulnerable and reach out to others we trust for support.

Where do you struggle to ask for help? Are there situations you are facing right now that would be better if you had the input of others? Who do you trust that you could reach out to for help? Would it be easier to ask if you thought about the roles being reversed? 

Here's to asking for Help when we need it this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation. 

Caution - Fragile!

I recently had a meeting at a coffee shop (not a surprise to many of you!), and I got my drink in a mug since I was staying at the store. After the meeting was over and I was taking my plates up to the dirty dish container, the mug slipped out of my hand and shattered on the cement floor! I was immediately the center of attention as I proceeded to pick up the broken pieces.  One of the things that struck me was how thick the ceramic actually was on the pieces. It was a pretty sturdy mug, but given the right set of circumstances, even the sturdiest of mugs shattered into tiny fragments.  Caution - Fragile!

I also got a phone call from a friend yesterday telling me about their mom being admitted to the ER for a possible stroke.  After running some tests, it appears it was a small TIA, but since the patient was elderly, they admitted them overnight and are continuing to run some follow up tests to make sure things are fine. While this kind of situation is not totally surprising, the timing of those phone calls is always a bit of a shock to the system, reminding me of just how tenuous life can be sometimes.  Caution - Fragile!

I was also listening to another friend recount a story in which they got the news of a loved one tragically passing away which required them to fly to the funeral. Of course, they were very upset the whole time they were on the plane, but a complete stranger offered them an immense kindness (which they haven't ever forgotten!), simply by giving them a pack of tissues without even saying a word. Caution - Fragile!

I've been thinking about all of these scenes, and it's reminded me just how fragile life can be at times. No matter how strong we are, under the right circumstances, anything can break. Is this "that" phone call? You may not know why I am distraught, but your kindness means the world to me!

Some of you know I have a small, part-time job at our local airport. We have these fragile stickers we can put on a person's luggage if they ask us to. I had a customer ask another coworker the other day, "Do those stickers actually make a difference?" to which my coworker replied, "They certainly make me pay attention more when I'm handling the bag."

Sometimes I wish there was a "Caution - Fragile!" sticker for life - times when you are just in a more tender place and you wish there was a way to let others know (without having to actually say anything), that it would be appreciated if they paid a little extra attention. I suppose I could buy a role of those stickers from the airport and just keep them with me, but if I was wearing one on the front of my shirt, I think people might just think I was weird! Instead, maybe I'll just try and remember that at any given moment lots of people around me may wish they were wearing one of those stickers. Maybe I will just try and give people the benefit of the doubt and proceed with Caution, because we are all pretty Fragile if we are honest!

Who do you know that is going through a hard time and could use a small gesture of kindness, maybe even without needing to say anything to them? Perhaps you are feeling extra fragile right now. Are there a few people you trust that you could share your story with who would help to support you with some extra kindness? 

Here's to remembering to proceed with Caution, because life is just Fragile!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

I'm Not Alone!

I was at a conference last week and one of the consistent comments I heard was, "It is so nice to know I am not alone!"  That got me thinking about leadership, isolation, and vulnerability.

Leadership

Let's be honest, leadership can feel very challenging. Sometimes that is a result of having to make tough decisions that impact other people. At other times it can be connected to the weight of expectations we feel from many different sources (people, the organization, decisions, responsibilities, the sheer volume of work, etc.). Regardless of the reasons, being a leader is hard work and can really require a significant amount of energy!

Isolation

I also know that leadership can feel lonely. Sometimes those tough decisions have very real implications on people and their work and lives.  It requires courage to lean in, but it can also produce those feelings of isolation. There is also a realistic amount of professional distance and healthy boundaries that are part of leading, and that can add to the loneliness.

Vulnerability

I heard one of the participants of the conference say, "Figuring out how to lead with vulnerability is critical to leading in a healthy way."  While this may seem contradictory to the previous idea about healthy boundaries, finding the right people and peers we can be vulnerable with, is absolutely essential to recognizing we aren't alone in our journey.  When we can open up and share with others in safe spaces, we quickly find that others are often experiencing the same things we are, and they were also feeling like they were the only ones going through it!

With all of this as background, the people I was with last week were all leaders. Some of them were at the top of their organizations, some of them were somewhere in the middle, but all of them were leaders, and all of them expressed a sense of loneliness and isolation in their lives. However, as we gathered together and began to open up with vulnerability, even if it was just with one or two others we felt safe enough to share with, almost everyone experienced a sense of feeling, "It is so nice to know I am not alone!"

Where in your life and leadership are you feeling isolated and alone? Who are the people that feel safe to you that you're willing to open up to with some vulnerability? How do you think taking some risks and sharing about your situation might help you both discover you aren't alone in what you are experiencing?

Here's to taking a risk and discovering we aren't alone this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.