Confidence

We are continuing our journey in exploring the 8 Cs of Self-Leadership from the IFS-Institute and their founder, Dr. Richard Swartz (Calm, Curiosity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, Courage, Clarity, and Connectedness). My ongoing desire is for this series to help us create some positive focus as we keep move forward into 2025.

So far, we've looked at Calm and Curiosity. This week we turn our attention to Confidence.

Confidence

One of the definitions of confidence is having a sense of trust that something or someone is reliable. It contains a degree of feeling certain, especially when that certainty is connected to consistency. Of course, there is also a perspective connected to self-confidence, which the IFS-Institute defines as the ability to stay present in a situation, even when it is hard or difficult, like saying, "I can do this!"

If we focus our attention on that simple phrase, "I can do this," we can immediately see several important components related to Confidence.

First, Confidence doesn't mean total certainty but rather depending on what we do know. We can be confident in our ability to face and lean into whatever we may encounter, even when there are unknowns involved.  For example, I may need to have a hard conversation with a coworker or a family member. There are probably lots of unknowns involved (I don't know how they will react or respond, etc.), but I can go into it with confidence in what I do know (I've had hard conversations before, I know this person is open to feedback, etc.) By leaning into what I do know, I can increase my confidence as I engage the conversation.  

Second, Confidence also doesn't mean there will be a perfect outcome, but that no matter what the outcome is I can learn and grow through it! In this sense, Confidence has more to do with our willingness to stay focused on the journey rather than have too many expectations about results. Back to our example of a hard conversation. If I can let go of any predetermined outcomes for the conversation, and instead I lean into it with a determination that no matter what happens, I will do my best to learn and grow from this experience, I can enter into the chat with greater confidence.

How does this approach to Confidence impact the way you have thought about it previously? What situation are you facing that if you approached it by focusing on what you actually do know instead of looking at all of the uncertainty, how might that increase your Confidence? Maybe you have a dilemma in front of you and you're so focused on trying to create the perfect outcome that you've lost sight of how this situation fits into your larger journey of life and growth? What would it take to approach it from that wider view, and how could that increase your Confidence headed into it?

Here's to leaning into greater Confidence this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Curiosity

Last week we started an 8-week series based on the 8 Cs of Self-Leadership from the IFS-Institute and their founder, Dr. Richard Swartz (Calm, Curiosity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, Courage, Clarity, and Connectedness). My desire is for this series to help us create some positive focus as we move forward into 2025.

I hope last week's message on Calm came to your mind throughout the week and you were able to put it into practice. This week, we turn our attention to Curiosity.

Curiosity

You may recall that one of the objectives of these 8 Cs is to think about them from a perspective of movement. In this case, it may be as simple as asking, How can I increase Curiosity in my life?

Allow me to illustrate this by reminding you about The Beginner's Mind (a concept from Buddhism made popular in the 1970's from the book, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, and which I've written about before). The basic concept here is to approach life with a general sense of curiosity and willingness to learn, rather than coming from a perspective of being closed, certain, or even judgmental. The closed/certain/judgmental perspective says, "I don't really want to know anything about that" (closed), or "I already know everything I need to know about that" (certain/judgmental). In contrast, the posture of Curiosity is one of openness and a willingness to continue learning. 

Now, let me point out an important phrase in what I just wrote - continue learning. One of the beautiful things about embracing a posture and movement toward greater Curiosity in our lives is, we don't have to forget everything we may have already learned! We get to bring all of that with us and couple it with a sense of continuing to be open to learning more or seeing things from a different perspective.

If you've spent any time with me, you may have noticed that one of the phrases I tend to use a lot (maybe too much at times!) is, "That's Interesting!" This has actually become a very important phrase for me in the past several years as I have tried to embrace a greater posture of Curiosity in my life. I think some of it stems from trying to break free from some old patterns and institutions in my life where certainty was a very high priority and virtue to be achieved. But I am finding so much more beauty and creativity in life as I shift from having to be certain, and instead, work to embrace greater and greater Curiosity in my life.

How about you? Are there areas of your life where you are tempted to approach it from a more closed or certain perspective? How could you shift to being more Curious in that area? Or what about people? Are there certain individuals or groups of people you are tempted to put into categories or labels? How could you shift your perspective to engage with them with greater Curiosity? And finally, what about yourself? Are you quick to allow the voice of self-judgement and criticism to come in? How could you use Curiosity to generate more grace and kindness toward yourself?

Here's to being more Curious this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.

Calm

I took a course last year from the IFS-Institute which is an organization that is focused on what their founder, Dr. Richard Swartz, says is powerful Self-leadership. While there is way too much to go into in some simple emails, and I have only started to scratch the surface of all their learning and teaching, one of the ideas I was reminded of last week is what they call "The 8 C's of Self Leadership: Calm, Curiosity, Confidence, Compassion, Creativity, Courage, Clarity, and Connectedness." 

I've also been thinking a lot about how to engage 2025 with a sense of purpose and intention and it seems like using these 8 C's as a launching point for helping us start on the right footing for 2025, and continuing to move forward with Priming the Pump, would be some time well spent. So, I'll start with Calm this week, and we'll just keep going forward until we've covered them all.

Calm

One of the approaches they take toward all of the 8 C's is to think about them in terms of noticing and movement. As we start with Calm this week, what that means is we begin by noticing where and when we feel a sense of Calm - the types of situations or circumstances that help to produce it or reinforce it. But part of noticing is when we can pay attention to what might also diminish it or create the opposite effect in our lives (like agitation or unrest). Then, as we notice where Calm may be arising or diminishing, we look for active ways to move toward more Calm, or away from it's opposite.

For example, I know that even one or two minutes of the deep breathing technique I learned from the Center for Mind & Body Medicine a few years ago help to produce a sense of Calm within me. So, if I am starting to feel unrest or turmoil arising, I will take time to pause and engage in those deep, focused breaths which helps me move away from the agitation and toward being more Calm. Additionally, if I am in a location where I can take those deep breaths outside, that seems to increase the rate at which I move toward being Calm.

How about you? What helps you to feel Calm? Are there certain activities that help you move away from unrest and toward Calm?  Perhaps there are some locations that enhance your ability to feel Calm and less agitated? How could you pay attention and notice more clearly what impacts your Calm and then make decisions that help you enhance that reality?

Here's to experiencing more Calm in our lives this week!

Be Well,

Stephen

Center was created to support individuals and teams so they can live from their Purposeful Center.  We specialize in professional coaching and leadership development and we’d love to support you!  Click on our Services page to book a free consultation.